Lately I have been off back in that life just short of the drug’s. I have been drinking here and there nothing constantly though. It’s beginning to weigh on me that I truly don’t know myself besides the fact I do a lot of messed up things. I’ve recently hit 18, and I’ll tell you, you can’t get a good job with drug’s in your system. Very few care if you fuck multiple women every week though. I find the more I try to grow up the more I start to progress into the bad things faster and faster. As if to go head first in to the things of this world accepting it as it’s all I can get. Knowing that there are certain rules that you have to follow in life to make it to heaven. Now I won’t go all Jesus freak on you, but I do believe in an all-powerful God that loves us, and punishes us. In that I do feel there are certain things you must do and I feel more allowing the further I stray away. It’s sad really I don’t know how explain it, but I can say that I feel as if I’m off in the trenches. By in the trenches I mean like waging war on my soul, body, and the world. It’s tough where I’m at. You have to be strong to survive, and well if you’re not you don’t survive. You can just hit restart in life, you don’t get a do over, and every move you make needs to be the best you can make. A bad split second decision can stick with you for life. I’ve been making subpar decisions in my life, and I have to start makings up for them now.
Tag: victim
Truth Be Told
Those who are close to me are typically the ones that hurt me the most. I tend to push those who are close away from me to keep from getting hurt. I didn’t expect the people who didn’t know me to not hurt me. I felt as if they don’t matter to me as much. You on the other hand matter a lot, but then you hurt me. I didn’t learn how to forget or forgive. The difference now is very little depending on how you see it. I’m more likely to just simply remove you from my life now if I feel that you crossed the line. I aint got the time to proceed with the back and forth anymore…
Just know
When does the pain end,
And the happiness begin,
Living life trying to be Christian,
But all I’ve ever know was sin,
Trying to find the light,
But it seems to be hiding just out of sight,
Stuck in never ending war between wrong and right,
Sitting up in middle up the night,
Reminiscing on the them past times,
In what seems to be a past life,
Don’t cry when I die,
I wasn’t always happy but you gave me a reason to try,
Know I love you and I’ll be watching from the sky,
Stay blessed in all you do.
Broken home
She’s insecure, and scared to trust,
They said they loved her, but it was lust,
She couldn’t tell what was true or not,
She started doing drugs to make the pain stop,
When it was all gone and she came down,
Their was no smiles only frowns,
Now she’s sitting there with a razor blade,
Trying to get the mental pain to fade,
But left and right gives no relief,
So now its up and down making longer streaks,
She wants to the pain to be gone,
She fills the tub and plays her favorite song,
She makes some deeper marks,
As the light fades to dark,
She’s passed out,
While time to help is countin down,
The family comes home and the little brother,
Comes in the bathroom crys and screams for their mother,
Mom comes in see her baby laying there,
Calls 911 and tells them hurry here,
Mom explains the situation,
Paramedics try to save her,
But its too late she was gone,
Now everybody’s trying to be strong,
It will forever be another broken home,
-Sosa
Stay blessed in all you do.
xoSOSAxo 